This propulsive debut from Montesanti explores queer belonging, body image, and emotional healing through the exhilarating lens of roller derby. While pursuing an MFA at Washington University of St. Louis, a 22-year-old Montesanti heard about a local roller derby league looking for recruits. Though unfamiliar with the sport's nuances, she understood its "unpredictability and violence" and saw in it a space to embrace her queerness. Calling forth the same dedication that fueled her as a competitive youth swimmer, Montesanti dove into derby. "I was looking for a community, but I also wanted to feel pain," she recalls. "I wanted to hit." As Montesanti's passion veers into obsession, her recollections of her childhood--ruled by a religious mother whose psychological abuse left Montesanti "punish myself for my failure to justify my fear: four hours of swimming laps... skipping meals, bingeing and purging"--lend heart-wrenching context. As she writes, "No derby meant no structure, no exercise routine, no chosen family." However, her bracing story veers from fraught to exuberantly cathartic when, after recovering from an injury on the track, Montesanti resolves to wield her pain as power, reclaiming "the way the Church had silenced me--both as a woman and as a gay woman," by anointing herself the derby moniker Joan of Spark. This spirited coming-of-age account brims with joy and resilience. (May)

In this debut memoir, Montesanti (creative writing, Univ. of North Texas) describes roller derby as a terrifying but necessary leap. After growing up in the conservative Midwest with a toxically perfectionist mother, Montesanti struggled with persistent self-doubt, an eating disorder, and lingering guilt about her sexuality, she writes. Then a move to St. Louis for her MFA offered the chance to join the city's top-ranked Arch Rival derby team and push beyond her boundaries. Montesanti was initially apprehensive about her lack of derby or skating experience but threw herself into the sport's rough-and-tumble aspects and open queer environment, hoping that the acceptance she found would patch over the wounds in her self-image. After a broken leg interrupted Montesanti's derby career, her long struggle to recover physically also allowed her the reflective space to begin to grow beyond her mother's influence and to bring the boldness of the derby world into her daily life. VERDICT An uplifting memoir of slow work towards self-acceptance, and of the healing and support Montesanti found in roller derby. Montesanti effectively mixes difficult self-reflection with lighter tales (derby recruitment, team practices, even a climactic trip to RollerCon), though some readers might wish there was more on-the-track action.--Kathleen McCallister